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I got the job, guys, so just sitting on my arse watching Married at First Sight Australia guilt-free. We were supposed to be camping this week, but we haven't gone cos kiddo got offered more school days.

Morning! Your girl's got an interview, so I'm spending my weekend prepping for that, cancelling all other plans. Oh and drinks in my garden this evening to celebrate my mate getting engaged.

Morning. Going for a ride in a bit - visit my parents briefly, then improvise a route home. Received some potentially good news yesterday. Work emailed me inviting to "apply" for a specially created fixed term salaried position in the department. They've obviously realised it would be cheaper to have someone on the books than hourly. The meeting about the position is 11 days before term starts, and I presume they still want to go through the facade of an interview and advertising it, which seems like it's a stitch-up but in my favour.

We need so much more of this

Was going to go out but someone won't get out of their Frozen pyjamas, so I've given up. He's 44 for god's sake.

Randy lives in the moment, like a dog or someone with a head injury.

Me in Primary 1, looking like present day Owen Jones.

"One day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off.. eh up hold on a second what's that sign say la.. 5 quid for a shicken burger and chips? Proper bargain!"

Hi. I moved into my new place today. Got delayed due to drinking myself incompetant so only got in today. Big old victorian house. I had to take a covid test (160 quid per test apparently) and am in isolation from everyone else for up to two weeks. Just had dinner in my room. 2 days without a drink now. Got my phone my tv, my own cash. I can go out but need a chaperone for the first month. Feeling pretty good about this. Have to do three meetings a week but swings/roundabouts. ☺

You can look me in the eye when you say that.

That moment you realise you forgot to sign in to your fake fan account.

Woohoooo got a new job. this place must have some sort of mystical aura spirit that drops you in a new role with a consummate ease in tough markets can only be that in have never got a job at first attempt. Gonna go celebrate at the Nags later NaTCh.

I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me.....*looks at payslip* 95%!!!?

really not sure about this now.

got the job, last two days of freedom, don't care what Van Morrison has done or said since the Good Friday Agreement, going for a ride later, thank you goodnight!

@braille kardashian, it's not a cult. It's very common for recovery programs to encourage social interaction, isolation is believed to be a contributing factor to addiction. They might be quite heavy handed in the way it's carried out, but I don't think we need to break out the cavelry quite yet. I very much encourage you to go along with what the facility is suggesting. Speak to people, go to meetings, doing the praying (I still do it twice a week and I'm still an atheist). These programmes seem weird, and they kind of are by their very nature. I was talking with some friends in a

I've chatted with her, she's pretty much made up her mind that we will go and visit. Just need to find out what the plan is for MiL being at home. Can't keep putting it off until she's home, as that may never happen, despite plans, but hopefully we'll have a better idea later today. Probably won't take the kids as I doubt they'll be allowed in to see her, and I'd rather not disrupt their schooling further.

So yeah, im going back into treatment on monday. I dont know if ill be back here for a while. I hope all you lot are happy and well in the meantime. Xo.

Anyway, even though Jo Whiley is dead I see Radio 1 are still doing their diseased cover versions. I remember some completely unimpressed American band being on there once and having done their two tracks it was time to do the cover version that was a prerequisite of getting on the show and Jo Whiley was all like "so what song have you decided to cover and why?" and they pissed all over the fourth wall and said "this was the least objectionable song on the list of crap you told us we had to choose from".

We had an RE teacher who was hardcore C of E. The story goes he started as a biology teacher but refused to teach evolution so they moved him to RE. He basically used lessons as sermons, and he'd do what was clearly the absolute bare minimum on the other religions and taught about them in such a condescending manner, it was embarrassing. I remember one lesson he was saying about how parents will tell little Jimmy that when his rabbit died it went to heaven well that's not possible because how can a rabbit have devoted itself to the teachings and rules of our lord and saviour Jesus C

There's this poem some customer has handed in to our chippie and it's so terrible it's almost brilliant

MOVED. KnAckered.

"Tell me Robert. Why do you want to win X-Factor?" "Well Simon I'd love to be famous so I can buy a winter coat and shoes for the wife, and a bicycle on the boys birthday."

At the airport and it’s total dead. Could’ve left an hour later ffs. Thought about going to Wetherspoons but a) I don’t want to die b) I want Tim Martin to die

She's gone...

Plans for the Plymouth visit have now changed, we're heading down on Thursday now. Conversation with FiL last night suggested that leaving it until the 25th might not be a good idea. She is going into a hospice and hopefully she'll be settled in by the time we get there. It's happened so quickly. Was going to run early and solo this morning, but decided to start work a little later and do a gentle plod with Ange to keep her company. Still making her laugh despite everything which is all I can do really. Only have plans for Sunday. Kids are back at dance tomorrow, so there will be lot

Bit more context on this. My first proper editing position was in this little classroom-based English teaching mag run my this chain-smoking overweight chancer in a tiny office on the European side of Istanbul. It was cash in hand, and the wages were always late, we regularly missed production deadlines and the company was badly run and going down the pan. During my second year there I was split from the wife (first one, first time split) and drinking heavily every night. In a bid to save to company the boss decided to try to sell a learning package to a university in his home town of Mal

Wotsits Frequency Kenneth

I had a tech teacher at high school who was (I think) Plymouth Brethren. Eventually got sacked for telling an entire class they were going to hell. One time a friend changed his screensaver to say “stiff nips” and he furiously demanded my mortified friend tell him what it meant. It was great.

NICK CAVE: THE EARLY BAND YEARS ROUND-UP THE BOYS NEXT DOOR Door, Door: Fairly inauspicious start but not as rubbish as people would have you believe. Bright and mostly uptempo new wave from Melbourne's hottest teen sensation (average age 21). Wouldn't be as interesting a document had they not changed, but still better than 90% of guitar music. 5 Hee Haw EP: Same year but a bit of a 180. Bit more fractured and dissonant and creepier, although Cave doesn't quite sound like he's been dragged in from the graveyard yet. Roland's songs are better than Nick's. 6 The Birthday Party:

Got Metallica's 1991 self-titled album today.

Went to the local record pressing plant this morning and bundled 150 vinyl into the back of a taxi. On a related note, my partner's just released a new single this morning for their upcoming album release at the end of the month. COUGH! Blatant plug!

Nothing I like more than to kick back on my sofa stick on the old stadium arcadium crank up the volume and did anyone say beveragino? Erm yes please!

We called them bucket-angels back in the olden days.

there's no way they can refuse Z's request with this explanation