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Showing most liked content since 06/18/2018 in all areas

  1. 10 points
    alright. Just packing for holiday, sorting out details for the funeral tomorrow. I wrote and recorded the entrance music, you can listen here.
  2. 10 points
  3. 10 points
    muppina

    I wanna be a MON, MON-cub

    I had a long and involved dream last night in which Axl and I formed an amazing vocal duet...um... thing and it was incredible, we sounded so good. Was a bit annoying though cos Axl kept sending the demos to individual angsters without asking my permission, but I decided it was worth the annoyance for how good we were as a vocal team.
  4. 9 points
  5. 8 points
    I know exactly how it opens: EXT: Kids playing in the park JP: "Hey can owt join in or owt?" "FUCK OFF MINGER" *Pickford walks away sadly* "WAIT! we need someone in goal"
  6. 8 points
    I think I've told this one before, but when I was a student and I worked at a factory as a temp, the contracted workers there were arseholes. I mean utter shits. They'd be like "oi student! get a job!" like what the fuck do you think I'm doing? There was this weird, toxic, superiority thing there. We'd been given a pair of boots and told to pack away a load of aluminum. No instructions, so if you need to ask anything you're told to ask one of the permanent members of the team. But they're like "oh you don't know this specific thing about this one place you've just started working at? You must be a fucking idiot!" Anyway, I'm packing this stuff away with this one lad, and at the end, we're meant to fill out this form. So he goes, "oi, fill out this form!" and I'm like "why don't you do it?" and he was like "Because I can't read you idiot!" anyway, I later offered to teach him to read and he accused me of being gay, so I rescinded the offer and also never slept with him again.
  7. 8 points
    H-M Son runs 80 yards taps the ball in jumps in to the crowd grabs someone's mobile calls up chicharito and says 너는 무엇에 대해 걱정 했는가?
  8. 8 points
  9. 8 points
    slavestate

    I wanna be a MON, MON-cub

  10. 7 points
    fractal*

    New Shirt and Friday

  11. 7 points
    Chapter 1 Gareth finished entering his expenses into the FA online portal and leaned back in his chair emitting a satisfied moan, him, not the chair. "Glad I kept all those receipts, I had £300 in train tickets and meals in roubles which I had to convert myself. That's a monthly payment on my Audi S7 so not to be sniffed at" he said, to the empty office. In the corridor outside his corner office the lights began to flicker. "Something must be up with the generator again. I've sent repeated emails to the facilities department to look into it" said the football manager, "we didn't win the world cup by ignoring emails" he continued. A formless shape was begining to grow from within the intermittent darkness outside. "I sometimes feel like I'm running the whole shop by myself, at least I have a nice gap to the Euros now" said Gareth, and then logged onto an energy price comparison site "I'm happy with my tariff but there's always room for improvement, especially with regards to the standing charge but then again I've got a version 1 smart meter which is tied to my current supplier so I'd have to enter my readings manually until the version 2 rollout ", he said, to the empty office where everyone had gone home. The carpet in the corridor grew dark with an unknown liquid, fumes and black acrid smoke began rising and discolouring the portraits of the winning world cup team on the walls. "I have to be on Graham Norton in an hour so I best get going" said Gareth Southgate, who wasn't sacked. He rose from his desk and made his way outside, trying the door knob "Knob's stuck", he said He gave one mighty push with his good shoulder and stepped into the gloom.
  12. 7 points
    Zaireeka

    Hail SATan

    He just texted me to say he's stuck in a traffic jam on the way to Chessington world of adventures and would like FRA 0-4 ARG (Caballero) URU 5-3 POR (Figo) JOKER
  13. 7 points
    Zaireeka

    Mon-der the moon of love

    Protip: If a fire alarm goes off at any point this morning do NOT leave the building.
  14. 6 points
    Univers

    FriDEAFHEAVEN

  15. 6 points
    So about five pints in that London thought aren't it am I!
  16. 6 points
    Just fuck the fuck off you absolutely fucking bloody fucking twat of a cunt! Seriously!
  17. 6 points
  18. 6 points
    Jordan! JORDAN come down yer tea's ready, it's yer faverite Worrisit? It's smoky bacon crisps *JP sits at table* Dad: Son, you'll have te give up yer dreams of being a goalie, yous a half plank son JP: Wos one of them, da? Dad: a shortarse, son, a midge. Why don't you follow yer brother in fish JP: he nicks fish out of boats at dock, da, when owt's looking Dad: blame Thatcher, son
  19. 6 points
    In Razor's very own words on Mr Jason McAteer: "Basically right, Dave, you are thick. Dave is his nickname. It goes back a long way because when he was at Bolton his nickname was Trigger. When he signed for Liverpool, Rob Jones was Trigger, and you can't have two Triggers, so we called him Dave. And he is thick. "And he ruined my life once. I am from south London and I have always wanted to meet Jimmy White and I have never, ever, ever met Jimmy White. We are in a Dublin bar and Dave McAteer says to me, 'Razor, Razor, quick look, your hero Jimmy White has just walked in'. "As I see Jimmy White, Dave shouts over to him, 'Jimmy! Jimmy! 180!' "And I still ain't met Jimmy White. "How about the time when we were in a villa in Spain and decided to hire a car and go to the beach for the day. So I got all the gear in the boot and Dave comes out with a big bag of ice. I say: 'Dave, what are you doing?'Dave says: 'It's for the drinks on the beach.'I say: 'Dave, by the time we get to the beach the ice is going to be melted.'So he says: 'Oh yeah, I will go and get another one'." Finally, on Soccer AM, McAteer gets a word in, "I am never going to work again. I am afraid these are all true." And so Ruddock says, "I ain't finished. "Dave decided because we were all rich and Spice Boys, well he weren't because he was at Bolton, so he signed for Liverpool and he got his first wage packet, so me, him and Phil Babb went down to the docks to buy this new silver Porsche. "So we had bought the new, silver Porsche and we went over to Dave's house and we had a night out. We get up in the morning and Dave is taking us to training. "He goes out and he says, 'hold up lads, it's freezing out there, the car is covered in frost. I will go out there and start the engine, clear the frost off and we can finish our coffee and go to training'. "So we finish the coffee and we go back out and the frost has gone but the car has locked itself and we couldn't get in it. "I said, 'where are the spare keys.' "He said, 'in the garage where I bought it from in case something like this happened'. "So as we are trying to get in, this police car comes round the corner and we are trying to get in like three scallywags and we say, 'no, no it is Razor and Phil and Jason', and the police say, 'ok Mr McAteer, Dave, go and get a coathanger and we will try to open it. It most probably won't work with these new cars, but we will give it a try'. "Dave walks back out with a wooden one."
  20. 6 points
    Think McAteer plays it up a bit. like when asked wether he wanted his pizza cut into 4 or 8 he said 4 cos he couldn't eat 8, or when he saw Jimmy White out he shouted ONE HUUUUUNDRED AND EIGHTY! i mean they probably happened but it's more dozy than thick isn't it, i mean he comes over alright on the telly.
  21. 6 points
    loving the fat ronaldo gifs
  22. 6 points
    https://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/worldcup/japan-team-leave-dressing-room-spotless-with-thank-you-note-despite-devastating-world-cup-loss-a3877696.html
  23. 6 points
    Zaireeka

    It's so hot my brain is FRYing

    Just reading a thing about that Danny Dyer interview and it reminded me of this, probably the best and most heart rending summation anyone ever made of that tragic and world changing day. Just sharing it in case anyone else had forgotten about it and wanted to be reminded.
  24. 6 points
  25. 6 points
    Probably have a whistle in the shower between matches!
  26. 6 points
  27. 5 points
    Univers

    FriDEAFHEAVEN

    keep it in the diary thread m8!
  28. 5 points
  29. 5 points
  30. 5 points
  31. 5 points
    Over to our correspondent in RUS
  32. 5 points
    Thanks, Jürgen, now back to the 2nd half where it's 1-1 and a semi-final place to play for.
  33. 5 points
    Today's ride, a completely uncalled for 84 miles (135km) from Worcester to Caersws via Bromyard, Leominster, Presteigne, and Bwlch-y-sarnau. I won't lie, I had to get off and walk up one hill because I was wrecked and probably will be for ages. If I hadn't refilled all three water bottles in a church in Bwlch-y-sarnau then I'd never have made it as the sun was roasting me. Hardest thing I've done since wrecking my ligaments 5 years ago. Beautiful though. Mid-Wales is a-okay.
  34. 5 points
    Awwwwwwww ()
  35. 5 points
    I got up this morning, made brek, made a coffee, walked into the bathroom where Mrs U was having a piss and just went 'it's coming home' then ran to work
  36. 5 points
  37. 5 points
    Randy prob definitely bases his predictions on my predictions so currently playing a game of chicken with him, see who blinks first.
  38. 5 points
    More footage coming in of BRA v MEX
  39. 5 points
    Gavin 2.0

    ELTAQAW

    After reading your theory I'm convinced that lying around somewhere there's a RT home demo where it's some turgid blues rock thing with lyrics like "Ooooooh yeah, radio gaga/All we hear is bingo and punk bands"
  40. 5 points
    CO(L)ME ON MY BEUYTIFUL BOYS!
  41. 5 points
  42. 5 points
  43. 5 points
  44. 5 points
    In more recent history the ARG telly pundits held a minute's silence after ARG 0 - 3 CRO. LOOK AT THEM
  45. 5 points
  46. 5 points
  47. 5 points
  48. 5 points
    That's the thing Axl is that you can't necessarily judge these things on personal experience alone, like when you criticise Facebook for filling your timeline with racists and invites to javascript games, that's just because everyone you know is a cunt
  49. 5 points
    Axlotl

    Blues and Tues

    If you look at life like rolling a dice, then my situation now, as it stands - yeah, it may only be a 3. If I jack that in now, go for something bigger and better, yeah, I could easily roll a six - no problem, I could roll a 6... I could also roll a 1. OK? So, I think sometimes... Just leave the dice alone.
  50. 5 points
    fractal*

    I wanna be a MON, MON-cub

    Weekend: Travelled back in time and got a job on a tram.
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